KID BOOK RATINGS

Kumak's Fish

2012-02-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

Bloggers of the world, here's some free advice for you: When trying to break a reviewing cold streak (in reference to the material selected, not the act of reviewing itself, since I am the world's foremost kid book rater), don't choose a story about life in Inupiat Alaska.

THREE PROS

*Author Michael Bania (a woman) took something from her own experience and tweaked it just enough to make it feel like a yarn that could be passed down from generation to generation to teach kids about teamwork both within the family and in the community -- although the crowning moment was rather far-fetched

*The birds-eye image of the entire village arranged in a circular line was not only cool for what it depicted but also because it changed the visual perspective just long enough to tickle your medulla oblongota
*Exposes your family to some interesting Eskimo items that they probably will never come in contact with

THREE CONS

*The whole idea of the fishes doing the same thing as the people in the world's most odd tug-of-war match was kind of a letdown compared to where your mind originally takes you (a really big single fish pulling on the line) -- as is the idea that, upon losing, every single one of these fish would pop out of a small hole in the ice
*It might be culturally accurate in the region she calls home, but for a female author to name the male lead and then have him refer to his wife as "Wife" seems oddly sexist for the intended audience

*Either the uncle should have had a more prominent role or a less prominent one, but I found his interjection into the story superfluous the way it was written

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Of the six books I checked out today, this one was the biggest gamble. I spent a few extra seconds thumbing through it (to make sure it wasn't too advanced for my son), and posited that KF might have some potential. Naturally, my curiosity led me to make this the first book I read when we got home. Boy was I disappointed. It's not bad, just bland. The messages and diversity earn it some deserved respect, but most of this goodwill expires about as fast as a fish pulled onshore. Credit Bania for expanding the locale lineup for children's books to include the Kenai Peninsula, but let your local library be the one that outlays the credit to purchase it.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

The Bored Book

2012-02-12T06:22:00.000-05:00

It's no surprise that something with this title would screw the pooch royally.

THREE PROS

*Doug Keith's illustrations prove that he is skilled at drawing epic scenes despite the fact that they are extremely misplaced in a children's picture book
*Idea Man Michael Slater's humane decision not to include text (outside of the words on the spines of some literary classics) ended the misery as quickly as possible
*Reminded me a little bit of Jumanji, which was a decent movie (and probably one that Slater saw roughly 24 hours before he "penned" this P.O.S.)

THREE CONS

*If the disclaimer on the inside jacket doesn't scare you away ("That is, if they survive it!"), the numerous images of two preteens almost perishing should do the trick

*I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that Keith's characters (including the kids) will probably be giving me nightmares for weeks to come

*Outside of someone you'd see on Dateline NBC, what kind of grandfather actively encourages his progeny to risk their lives just to stop them from disturbing his reading time

ONE DAD'S OPINION

I'll tell you one thing: this book was anything but boring. [The title refers to the characters state of mind as the story unfolds.] Consequently, I did not immediately think I would be Destroying it right now. I mean it's got action, mentions some of the most famous adventure stories in human history, and even closes by demonstrating the grandchildren enjoying the consumption of these novels. Doesn't matter. This thing freaked me the f' out! Just imagine what it did to my kid. One could argue that it had to be drawn this way to get the danger across. Great point. Here's another one. I don't care. I hate this book. Damn you Michael Slater, and damn you Netflix, or whatever video streaming service inspired you to write this.

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

I Love Trains!

2012-02-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

Do you?

THREE PROS

*After reading a bunch of meandering books in a row, it felt good to get back to something with a nice and easy storyline that included some good rhymes

*Walked away not knowing if the boy really saw the train out his window or if it was all in his imagination -- in a good way
*Shari Halpern's artwork is more local than express, but that doesn't matter since it's perfectly matched with Philemon Sturges' writing pace

THREE CONS

*There's really nothing wrong with ILT! (as evidenced by how weak my other two cons are), but it lacks the gravitas I would need to make it a Buy
*It's cute how dad and son are dressed almost identically, but it definitely threw me off for a page

*The images on the train cars on his table don't mirror the one's on the big train exactly (not a huge thing, but could have been easily remedied)

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I like I Love Trains! But I do not love I Love Trains! [What I wouldn't give to get rid of those exclamation points right now! Goshdarnit, there's another one.] As I said earlier, Sturges and Halpern turned in an unspectacularly flawless effort. So it's no shock that I'm giving it a Borrow. Book a short ride on this train next time you hit your local library...

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy

2012 Picture Book Reading Challenge AND Liebster Blog Award

2012-02-09T03:53:00.000-05:00

I've been waiting far too long to take my blog to the next level, so I figured this month would be different.

First I tried to do a prize giveaway. It went OK. Probably need to rethink how I am going to advertise it next time without turning KBR into one of those annoying prize giveaway clearinghouse sites that I stare at for about 5 seconds before my eyes feel like they are gonna explode...

Today I'm doubling down.

Step one: I am going to finally break down and do one of the many challenges out there created to further strengthen the bond between like-minded individuals. The one I found to be most in line with what I am trying to do here is the 2012 Picture Book Reading Challenge. Let's see how it goes.

Step two: With that in the works, I can turn my attention to passing on the wonderful award given to me by my buddy Ali B. over at Literary Lunchbox. It's called the Liebster and according to Ali "The idea behind the Liebster is for honorees to "pay it forward" by acknowledging the award, the blogger who gave it to you, and passing the award on to five blogs you deem worthy of of receiving distinction. Only blogs with less than 200 followers are eligible for this award in hopes of generating more traffic to their site." Sounds reasonable enough. Mainly I am doing this to thank her for being my favorite commenter in the galaxy. [Of course, this distinction is always up for grabs, but she has got a commanding lead!] She also happens to be a great blogger worth a serious bookmark. And it doesn't hurt that we must share some mental connection since I just noticed that she is participating in the same challenge I described in Step #1!

Here are five other blogs you might want to take a peek at...

Finally, this award requires me to tell you five things about myself. Yikes! Here goes:

We are 95% finished with a construction project that, when it's done, will have taken 14 months. All that time for 150 square feet. At least I went with the lowest bidder!
I care about my cats more than almost any guy in the world. [Ali - they would like you!]
I am a sadomasochistic professional sports fan. You try liking the following teams: Lions, Warriors, Nationals, Capitals/Sharks.
I love my son enough not to force these championship-free organizations on him. Well, except for the Nationals.
I have been a mascot for one of the above teams for five years. Wanna fathom a guess?!

Happy Thursday everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

A Giant Crush

2012-02-08T23:37:00.000-05:00

A Giant Crush will not be getting a valentine from me anytime soon.

THREE PROS

*Melissa Sweet and Gennifer Choldenko, if nothing else, fill a niche in the picture book market by choosing a topic that is, frankly, difficult to tackle

*The little girls' reactions to their classmates' bunny love was spot-on
*I did like the anticipation Choldenko built by delaying the reveal of where the flower went

THREE CONS

*Keeping track of the bunnies names was a real chore, especially since three of the four main characters' names started with the letter 'C' (technically, there were four 'C' names since one bunny was named Carter Corey... by the way, I could sit here for an hour and wouldn't be able to think up a more awful name)
*Not a fan of Choldenko's decision to have Cooper tell the story from his perspective (she probably did it to limit the quote attributions) -- maybe AGC could have been better if she figured out a way to tell it using fewer quotes in the first place

*Yes, the occasional tiny tot with a Napoleon Complex will make fun of the really tall kid in class, but, from my experience, being blessed in the height department is rarely a bad thing, even in elementary school

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Went and got a haircut today. I asked for a "two" clipper all the way around. How that took 45 minutes is beyond me, but that's another story. During her fourth pass over the left side of my head, we got to talking about Valentine's Day. Since neither of us have plans that will make romantic history, I won't bore you with the details. Nonetheless, I did take it as a sign that tonight was predestined to be the night that I would write my review of this book. So here goes... First of all, let me say that there should be a disclaimer on the front that warns parents not to bother with it for kids under five. [I guess the title should have given it away, but still.] The whole concept of crushes was completely lost on my almost three-year-old. For argument's sake, I pretended that I had a boy twice his age to see if that would help. It really didn't. A Giant Crush has about as much of a chance of staying in my home as six-year-old me had of kissing a girl in my all-male first grade class.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

The Pirate Of Kindergarten

2012-02-07T21:56:00.000-05:00

Shiver me timbers! Another rotten scallywag off of the library shelf. What's with this run of bad luck we've been having?

THREE PROS

*Lynne Avril's depiction of the way the main character (Ginny) sees the world with double vision is realistic but also demonstrates the imaginative flair I demand to purchase an illustrator's work

*George Ella Lyon wrote this from personal experience, and, to be fair, many of the emotions she felt growing up translate well as we read along
*Doesn't devote any text to the gender of the male nurse -- in some small way this will help reduce your kid's stereotyping of professions

THREE CONS

*As you'll see in my opinion below, my biggest gripe is that this book should not have been elevated to elite status by any award-giving body
*The whole pirate component doesn't even unfold until the last few pages, and even that's a huge stretch since the only link to the high seas comes from her wearing an eye patch for a week (oh yeah, and putting on a hat fashioned out of newspaper for all of one snapshot)

*I don't understand how the writing team skipped over the ridicule a girl wearing a patch would face from her classmates after they spent the whole rest of the book showing us the lengths Ginny would go to avoid embarrassment caused by her poor vision

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Today's selection won the (youth) 2011 Schneider Family Book Award, an honor given to books that excel in their presentation of a perceived disability. With such a positive reference in it's corner, I assumed it would be a virtual lock for Borrow status, at worst. I was wrong. The 'disability' Ginny faced barely qualifies it for such an important award category, not to mention that the writing itself should have knocked it out of the running almost immediately. ALA: Are you telling me that out of all the picture books published in 2010 with the youngest audience in mind that not one covered a topic with more gravity than TPOK? I find that hard to believe. It's only saving grace is that the subject matter makes it more universal; so, in that regard, it might act as a comfort to children (like me) who were forced to wear glasses from a relatively young age. Still, even when you remove any undue praise a prestigious award like the Schneider might carry, it's no better than a swabbie scrubbing the deck on the big pirate ship of children's stories...

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Mouse's First Day Of School

2012-02-05T23:57:00.003-05:00

Call the exterminator.

THREE PROS

*Buket Erdogan deserves very little blame for this effort, since her illustration is actually quite pleasing to look at
*Does a good job of referencing objects that are often found in a classroom without going for the most obvious items
*Outside of the scary reality associated with a mouse nibbling on kids' snacks, the food page was a particularly appetizing feast for the eyes

THREE CONS

*Lauren Thompson severely miscalculated with the style she chose for MFDOS -- sound effects followed by a noun doesn't seem like a recipe for disaster, but it was super annoying to read (although I will give her credit for using some adjectives that might broaden your child's vocabulary)

*It didn't help that the first exposure we have to this style was a car page whose only words were "vrim, vrum, vroom a car" -- you didn't have me at vrim

*The Achilles heel of Erdogan's art: super creepy depictions of grade schoolers

ONE DAD'S OPINION

You'll be surprised to find that I want this book Destroyed after reading the next sentence. My son actually sort of liked it. But, as a parent, I cannot stand by and let other families take a chance on MFDOS. Much like that famous line from Billy Madison, everyone in (our household) is dumber for having been exposed to it. Each page's text has a very good chance of possibly corrupting your son or daughter's speech pattern development for the foreseeable future. In particular, the lack of conjunctions (specifically the word "and") really bothered me. All things considered, it's not the worst book ever, but it's bad enough to warrant a trip to detention.

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

Socksquatch

2012-02-04T23:23:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the legend is better than the real thing.

THREE PROS

*If you're looking for a primer on classic movie monsters, you've come to the right place

*How can you not love the title and the resulting character it spawned
*Author/Illustrator Frank W. Dormer's simplistic approach to the writing is allowable due to the obvious vocabulary limitations of Socksquatch

THREE CONS

*I gave Dormer a pass on the text, but with drawings equally as crude, it adds up to a book with a capped upside
*The whole thing is about finding a sock that fits, right -- so it's ridiculous for the author to have 'Squatch turn down Frank's sock and then be happy with the Damsel's (her feet are half the size of his)

*Pretty sure Wayne's a werewolf, not positive though (if he is, then he's the worst drawn of all, and if he's not, well, then what the heck is he)

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Hey, the title was catchy enough for me to take a chance on it, so kudos to Dormer on that front. Problem is, there's not much left to believe in after you get past the cover. I think I saw what looked to be a story inside, but, in hindsight, how can I be sure? I'd show you the images I found to verify my claim, but you'd just tell me how difficult it was to make out what we were looking at. In the end, it's probably best to let Socksquatch roam in the wilderness, far from human contact...

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Kitten's First Full Moon

2012-02-02T23:57:00.002-05:00

Another waning crescent of an effort by Kevin Henkes.

THREE PROS

*I really approve of the text -- for the font used (which is extremely easy to see), not so much the words themselves (the whole plot was so-so)

*Has a surprising amount of vibrancy for something that insists on using only black, white, and various shades of gray
*If you are looking for a longer book to thumb through with your very young baby, this could work due to the color scheme mentioned above

THREE CONS

*There is no lesson and kind of no point (outside of the whole "a full moon might look like a bowl of milk to a cat" thing)
*Why would a kitten who hates swimming jump carefree into a big container of milk

*My cats enjoy the 'reward' when it comes to eating flying insects -- I'm not sure if they are in the minority, but it's not as uncommon as Henkes might have your child believe

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I don't know what possessed me to ask my librarian to choose a story for me last week (normally, I just do a walk-through and grab what looks interesting), but, based on some basic demographic information I offered about my son, this was her recommendation. With four books already in tow and being in a bit of a hurry, I didn't question her pick. Only after I got home did I realize the card fate had dealt me. You see, I don't like bashing authors on here more than once if I can help it, unless they are household names (at which point I feel like I'm doing more of a service by weeding out the bad titles in their esteemed collections). So my apologies to Mr. Henkes. I'm sure we can get together one bright moonlit night and laugh about this over some cold glasses of milk. Until then, I implore you to find every last fault with my blog and air them publicly in retaliation for me giving you a second-straight Donate.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Cars Galore

2012-02-01T23:19:00.000-05:00

If only there was a way to offer a book a tune-up after it leaves the production line...

THREE PROS

*Bob Staake's illustrations were cool and definitely had my son's eyes bouncing around each page

*Very forward-thinking to include alternative fuel machines as a group -- could inspire your child to help change the world one day
*As someone who has napped in the car at my fair share of rest stops, I liked the entire section dedicated to this element of driving culture

THREE CONS

*One could argue that part of the adventure is matching each phrase to a corresponding nearby vehicle, but I found it a taxing diversion from the story to have to locate which one was which
*Peter Stein's text wasn't bad (dragged on a little long though) -- still, it felt like more of an afterthought

*I found it odd that the book is crammed with cars with the exception of a large white space on the back cover -- did Stakke get a cramp that caused him to throw in the towel right before the finish line

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I was so confident that I was gonna like this one after thumbing through it at the library, that it's actually going to be tough for me to retrace my steps and find where it took a wrong turn. Rather than do that, let me compare it to an automotive situation I am familiar with. For most Californians, this description will make sense -- for everyone else, you'll have to use your imagination a little bit. Interstate 5 is a long, boring road that offers the easiest path from the Bay Area to the LA Basin. It's for the most part flat and straightforward, but does expose you to some interesting terrain along the way. And, if you can get over the fact that it's an over-five-hour journey, the drive is sort of fun from a test-your-car's-limits standpoint (assuming no kids are in there with you). All that said, by the end of your trip, you are just happy to have reached your destination. If, later, anyone asks you about the experience, you'll offer a quick retort about how it was kind of painful but could have been worse. And, then you'll drift off into your own head wondering why you didn't choose the alternative (flying). So, in a roundabout way, the I-5 and Cars Galore are not that different. They are both tolerable but are clearly never the best choice.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

$25 Visa Gift Card Giveaway

2012-01-31T11:03:00.000-05:00

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Grandpa Green

2012-01-28T23:57:00.003-05:00

Does anybody have a tissue? Think I have something in my eye. Or maybe it's just really dry in here.

THREE PROS

*OK, so I didn't actually cry or reach that precipice where you find yourself trying to hold back the waterworks, but I wasn't more than a few steps away from it either

*A lot of people think I am an ALA hater, so let me be clear just how right they were in selecting this as one of the best illustrated books of 2011
*While I am not sure which way Lane Smith was trying to go with the first page discussing his great-grandfather's fading memory (are the holes in the bush equivalent to senility gaps or is the whole unshaped piece of flora a metaphlora for his no longer fully formed memory or both or none of the above), it is a very inventive way of demonstrating to a child why his eldest relatives might not be all there anymore

THREE CONS

*The book's greatest strength is also it's main downfall -- as beautiful as the pictures are to look at, do you really want to reach for the sentimental choice more than a few times a year (it would be too much for me)
*I totally get why the penultimate two pages fold out (to reveal a kind of wrapping-it-all-up image), but they have already frayed on the edition I am holding -- that doesn't bode well for posterity

*The only page that required me to suspend gravitational and horticultural reality was the one on warfare, which was a shame because I was so impressed with the care that Smith took to make you feel like this garden could exist somewhere in the world

ONE DAD'S OPINION
As I stated earlier this week, Grandpa Green should have won the Caldecott this year. Quite simply, it's more original, more pleasing to the eye, and happens to be a way better story than the winner to boot. With that out front-and-center, some of you will probably be flabbergasted that it doesn't get my rubber stamp Buy. Well, my friends, we live by a different standard over here at KBR. We don't just consider the artwork or the writing or the awards it has racked up. We also bear in mind how re-readable something is (probably my #1 litmus test), how many greenbacks a purchase will set you back, and about ten other things that apply to specific categories. On that scale, I can only go as high as a STRONG Borrow, although I will admit that it could be a Buy for people who can't get enough of the sappy stuff.

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy

Look Book

2012-01-27T23:14:00.001-05:00

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather avert my eyes...

THREE PROS

*Kids will get some enjoyment out of guessing what it is they are viewing through the holes in the pages (you see a small segment of a larger photo through each hole, then you turn the holey paper to reveal a full-page closeup view {usually} of said object before turning it once more to see the complete visual the same subject)

*The postmodern part of me digs a book that is willing to make black the primary page color
*I hear "author" Tana Hoban was kind of a big deal in the photography world

THREE CONS

*You (and your kids) know what everything is after the first look-through, so why would you really want to reread it more than once if any other activity in the world was available to you
*She doesn't even maintain the integrity of the small-to-bigger-to-full-size progression with each set of pictures -- you'll see the poodle, pretzel, and ostrich are strangely 100% visible in the middle stage

*The images aren't significantly more impressive than an album I could create with my iPhone (granted Hoban's pix were taken decades ago, but, then again, she was famous for her camera, was using top-of-the-line equipment, and had a publisher to perfect any imperfections)

ONE DAD'S OPINION
The rating for Look Book is so obvious. It's gotta be a Donate because I have a negative overall opinion of the thing, but still see its value as a single-use item. Instead of spending $18(!) on this once-in-a-lifetime book (as in: you would only want to open it once in your lifetime), gather up some scissors, construction paper, old photos, and family members so you can recreate the concept on your living room floor. [Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm gonna make a few calls to my contacts in the board game industry after I click submit on this post...] Before I go, can we just discuss the back cover for a second? How could a who's who of esteemed voices in the industry (School Library Journal, New York Times, The Horn Book) so easily give praise to the other books in this series, which are essentially doppelgangers of this one. Does anyone who works on the business side of children's books ever feel compelled to at least abstain from commentary, let alone offer an outright refusal? One can dream...

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

E-mergency!

2012-01-25T23:56:00.000-05:00

E-xceptionally e-xecuted e-ffort e-xpedites e-xtant e-nhancement (of) e-veryone's e-njoyment.

THREE PROS

*Taken by itself, the concept of a (Latin-based language) world without the letter 'E' was a great concept for an alphabet book... which was only magnified by the artistic stylings and whimsical approach of Tom Lichtenheld and E-zra Fields-Meyer

*Deftly mixes in some real teaching points (like the vowel/consonant line the letter 'Y' toes or the link between 'Q' and 'U') e-ven though hilarity is the driving force throughout
*Somehow found a way to give a unique personality to e-very letter of the alphabet

THREE CONS

*Having 'O' stand in for 'E' for the bulk of the story was e-ssential to the plot, but did make it incredibly hard to read out loud at a normal pace (it takes an e-xtra nanosecond for your brain to comprehend what's happening e-ach instance the substitution occurs... time that wouldn't matter if you were reading silently to yourself)
*Using a multitude of acronyms makes perfect sense for this type of thing (and fit in well with the theme), but takes away from the e-xperience slightly since you will e-nd up stopping to e-xplain what they mean

*I laughed out loud when I saw the letter 'P' draining it in a distant bathroom shot, but not e-very parent is as big a fan of off-color humor as me

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I am not good with names (or faces for that matter) so I had no idea until just now that Lichtenheld also worked on my last Buy, Shark vs. Train. Looks like Peter Brown is getting a run for his money as the #1 Kid Book Ratings talent. In the words of Rick Ross, this guy's a Boss. And, from the looks of it, an almost automatic Buy. Honestly, I can't foresee a better alphabet book e-xisting, assuming your child is old e-nough to get the majority of the concepts in here. If that age hasn't arrived yet, might I suggest this link instead?

BUY / Borrow / Donate / Destroy

A Ball For Daisy

2012-01-24T15:52:00.000-05:00

I've waited over six months to get over the bad taste A Sick Day for Amos McGee left in my mouth. Now, here we are, the day after the 2012 winner was announced and I am just as ALA-award-queasy.

THREE PROS

*Chris Raschka's greatest accomplishment was the ability to convey a range of emotions without writing a single word

*Takes you on a thorough spin around the color wheel with his brush
*It looks like the dedication is to his dog, which is cool -- of course, if someone he knows is named Artemis, then I apologize on behalf of myself and that person's parents

THREE CONS

*So basically we're teaching our kids that it's not good to share, and that it's OK to suffer long-term depression if something breaks, and, finally, that the only way to feel better is to buy (or receive) a replacement
*The last picture before the ball hops over the fence has some serious perspective issues (not to mention the lucky bounce it would have needed to take to stop flush against the metal on the opposite side of Daisy)

*Right before the ball bursts, does Daisy bite the brown dog or is she just trying to catch up -- that image is nebulous

ONE DAD'S OPINION
According to the search function on my website, I have previously reviewed six books that were either Caldecott honorees themselves or were illustrated by people who had won them in the past (plus one by an author who tried to take credit for her illustrating partner's efforts). Here's the tally of ratings on those items: three Donates, two Destroys, and one (weak) Borrow. Now, add another Donate to that data set in the form of ABFD. Holy dog balls!! This is more than a trend. In my mind, it's verifiable proof that the Caldecott is not a reliable standard bearer for the best in young children's books. From this point on, I am going to turn my focus elsewhere, while still hoping against hope that the ALA has our best interest at heart. Perhaps, Geisel Award (aka the "Mo Willems is a shoe-in to be mentioned almost every year award") winners are the way to go?

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

A Bad Case Of Stripes

2012-01-23T23:57:00.002-05:00

I was all excited to have tonight's review spotlight the 2012 Caldecott winner, announced today, but someone beat me to the library. [Quick aside: I took a peek at the reference copy of A Ball for Daisy while I was there and let's just say that fellow finalist Grandpa Green was robbed.] Since that plan went by the wayside, I figured why not review the most visually striking cover I could find...

THREE PROS

*While it didn't nab the Caldecott, the illustrations were superb -- so superb that it garnered numerous statewide honors, including the Wyoming Buckaroo Book Award (which just sounds awesome and also happens to be chosen by kids)

*How can you not love the moral of the story -- although I would have loved it even more if David Shannon had thrown in one blunt sentence that spelled out the message clearly for younger readers to easily understand
*I was impressed by Shannon's ability to work in difficult adult characters (medical scientists, pushy media, and homeopathic shamans come to mind) to keep my interest level peaked

THREE CONS

*As great as the pictures and text are (not to mention how fun it is to hear the title vocalized by a toddler), it's a read that required me to invest more energy than normal to get through it, partly because it is for an older demographic than we normally tackle in my home, but also because the concepts are advanced for anyone under eight or so
*When Camilla becomes her room, it had a Pee-Wee's Playhouse type of vibe, which I would argue is never a good thing

*Lima beans were far too prevalent and might have thrown some tykes off of the trail by making them think that this story was about eating your vegetables

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I don't have a lot to add here on why I feel this is a Borrow, other than to say that it was very close to receiving a Buy. In the end, though, the book reminded me of a horse-sized vitamin pill. You know that you'll be glad you took it, but can't help but pause a few beats right before it's goes down. A Bad Case of Stripes is worth the momentary discomfort. Trust me, I'm only a few classes short of being a doctor :)

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy

Hello, Baby!

2012-01-21T16:12:00.000-05:00

Just because you are a fabulous photographer doesn't mean we have to buy your books, does it?!

THREE PROS

*I don't know how many pictures per day Jorge Uzon takes of his kids, but he seems to have captured a collection of great moments that tell the complete story of being a newborn

*Will definitely pull on the heartstrings of most moms who open this book -- is virtually impossible for ladies to resist a cute baby, right
*And for the less mature dads (like me)...well, there's almost a boob shot on the cuddling page

THREE CONS

*Somebody at Groundwood Books really meconiumed the bed on this printing since my copy's 'waking from a nap' page is in their twice -- what's worse is that upon dropping it back off at the library, I confirmed that it's not merely a duplicate but actually a substitute for the real 'putting baby down for a nap' page
*If you think about it, it took this guy probably one minute to gather some photos from his youngest son's earliest days and maybe two more minutes to come up with the words to accompany those images

*I hate to overuse this con, but I can't get over the slightly strange feeling that overtakes me when looking at someone else's family being used exclusively in a book

ONE DAD'S OPINION
If you weren't swayed by my negatives, I've got good news for you... there are three other books in this series! Each one of them artfully portrays a few months in the life of Uzon's son as he grows from a newborn to a one-year old. Quadruple yay!! Unfortunately, I was swayed by those cons. And more than that, I'm a dude, and dudes don't dig drippy depictions. Here's another word that starts with 'd': Donate.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Richard Scarry's Colors

2012-01-20T21:15:00.000-05:00

After more than 250 reviews, we finally get our first Richard Scarry story.

THREE PROS

*Each picture does a good job of getting the point across while injecting some age-appropriate fun

*Covers a good range of colors
*Lists a fairly wide variety of everyday items that are ignored by other books, though perhaps too many foods and modes of transport

THREE CONS

*The names Scarry chose for his animals are not only stupid, but they make reading the text super confusing (Pig Won't, Bananas Gorilla, Huckle Cat... kill me)
*Ending any color spectrum story with brown seems suspect, and compounding it with the closing phrase "Mud is brown (and) sticky too" metaphorically confirmed for me the rating it ultimately deserves

*Why would he choose to illustrate a tire by drawing what looks like a black zero on a piece of paper instead of just sketching a tire

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Talk about blasts from the past... This guy was huge back in my original picture book reading days. So, while I don't remember any of the awful character names, their faces immediately brought back (neutral) memories. There's something about the way he drew them (especially Lowly the snake), that sticks in little heads, regardless of generation. From that perspective, I could never give it the Destroy that my wife desired after finishing it the first time. And I believe even she would admit that it's not all bad if pressed on the subject. Still, her instincts aren't that far off, because RSC tends to be a weird read, whether out loud or silently. Think of it like a burnt sienna shag carpet in your basement -- a relic from a bygone era that provides some comfort, but not the kind of thing you would willingly show off to your houseguests.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

The Rainbow Fish

2012-01-19T23:57:00.002-05:00

Someone should bury every copy of this underneath Davy Jones' Locker!

THREE PROS

*I'm not even sure if the point of the book was teaching sharing, but if it was I guess that's positive
*The shine effect the publisher used on the lead's scales did help me understand why other fish wanted some of that action too
*According to the copy I have, it was printed in 1996... which gives me hope that the majority of Rainbow Fish have died off by now

THREE CONS

*Do we really want to teach our kids that in order for them to have friends they need to give away the vast majority of their possessions (aka: buying friendship)

*The frickin' fish literally has to rip off parts of his body to accomplish this goal -- I'd rather be a loner with perfect epidermis than a popular skin graft experiment

*Pretty sure that octopi do not have the brain capacity to be considered the wisest creatures in the sea (um, dolphins, hello)

ONE DAD'S OPINION

Tonight I walked by a corner freezer at my local Safeway that was showcasing some national brand of plant-packaged breaded filets. Glancing at it for a second, I distinctly remember letting out a semi-audible groan before I moved on to the dairy aisle. In other words, I actually had a visceral reaction to imagining consuming it. Not sure why, but I did. It's not like I am opposed to eating this foodstuff for moral or culinary reasons. In fact, it's fairly likely that I will order fish and chips at a restaurant at least one time in the next year. But, the thought of eating what was in that box was about as unappetizing to me as, say, digesting anything prepared by author Marcus Pfister ever again. And while The Rainbow Fish isn't quite the fatal fugu batch of the literary world, it has about a thousand percent higher chance of giving you food poisoning than any other fish story you'll find. Throw it in the trash and start over.

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

Have I Got A Book For You!

2012-01-17T15:18:00.000-05:00

And if you call in the next ten minutes, I'll throw in this review for free!

THREE PROS

*Melanie Watt nails the concept of a product spokesperson using every trick in the shill handbook to get you excited about the item currently in your grasp

*I can't tell you how many times my son has asked us to read this to him over the last two weeks; which is all the more amazing when you consider that he has never seen an infomercial in his life
*Publishing each copy with a tear on the last page (to set up the final joke) was pure genius

THREE CONS

*There's no getting past the fact that most kids in the target audience will struggle with the theme
*Much like Billy Mays or that guy Vince of Shamwow fame, adults will at first find themselves in some way irritated by the over-the-top style before growing a soft spot for it

*While I would be proud of my son if he grew up to be the next Al Foxword, I imagine that a certain percentage of parents don't want their children developing Eddie Haskell personas

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Ironically, HIGABFY is cut from the same mold as the archetype it pokes fun at throughout. The story is packed full of humor and doesn't miss a beat, yet still feels like a luxury purchase that you could do without. Look, I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that most of us would like to possess pretty much every single item we see on those paid advertisements if money wasn't an object. Luckily, in the case of children's books, we have a "try before you buy" alternative that avoids the whole fiduciary conundrum altogether. It's called Borrowing it from the library -- which I highly suggest you do with Have I Got A Book For You!

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy

The Everything Book

2012-01-15T17:56:00.000-05:00

Hey! Let's slap a bunch of crap together and sell it to kids!

THREE PROS

*This is the first book I have reviewed that covers letters, numbers, shapes, and colors; so, in theory, it's a value to get all of that in one place for $20
*When authors bury a hidden game inside of their work (in this case it's finding all the ladybugs), I usually award a few positive points -- though this attempt basically nosedives due to the sheer number of items included (119!)
*Gotta give credit to Denise Fleming for creating a cityscape using only the most basic of shapes

THREE CONS

*I absolutely hate how the author feels the need to attribute all but one of her nursery rhymes to sources she claims are "Anonymous" just so that she can properly reference the Robin Redbreast piece from Mother Goose -- put your lame-o bibliography in the back if you are so concerned about copyrights, or better yet, don't bother with it at all

*The page on body parts looks like a dictionary shat on and around two unfortunate little kids

*I defy you to explain the Faces page to your boy or girl without sounding like a total idiot

ONE DAD'S OPINION

To be fair, my son doesn't hate this book as much as we do...although he does look like the poster child for toddler ADD by the time we get to TEB's second half. It's pretty easy to diagnose this variation in opinions. After only two and a half years on this earth, his defenses aren't strong enough to withstand an all-out assault on the senses, so his only recourse is to sit there and stare. Meanwhile, my wife and I are old enough to know that a lot of little pieces of poop still add up to one big piece of poop. As the old saying goes, you shouldn't try to be everything to everyone. Too bad Denise Fleming wasn't familiar with this particular anonymous quote...

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

Zer0

2012-01-12T16:24:00.003-05:00

Even the best pitchers in baseball occasionally drop a deuce on the scorecard instead of their usual goose eggs.

THREE PROS

*It's about time a kiddie book gave the spotlight to what is actually the most common digit of all (think binary code)

*Does its best to give the numbers personalities...and particularly positive ones at that (with the exception of our star)
*Super cool how the cover slaps a holographic '0' into the title word "Zer0"

THREE CONS

*I'm sorry, but you can only get so excited about the trials and tribulations of a group of numbers hanging out together -- even the writers of Gossip Girl would have a tough time maintaining their Nielsen Rating if they were forced to replace Blake Lively with the number eight
*While exclamation points and dots are a part of the world of numbers (factorials and decimals), I don't think they should have been included in the illustrated sections if they were not going to be given equal character weight (kind of kills the whole background equality message if numbers are portrayed as superior to symbols)

*Why would I want to read the first four pages again after seeing them printed on the inside cover

ONE DAD'S OPINION
.Kathryn Otoshi is an author with great promise. You don't win awards in the double digits for being a slouch. Consequently, I hope that at some point in the future, I will review another book of hers and begin to fix the damage I am about to inflict... There's a reason why hardcore Trekkies are mocked by the general public. It's not because the characters or scripts are inherently lame (swap the galactic locale for LA and it wouldn't be that different from the usual fare). Rather, it's a result of the masses fleeing from anything steeped in science and math. In much the same way, a children's story about numbers - and only numbers - is gonna be a difficult sell to regular parents. That is to say, if you and your spouse are programmers or engineers, this might be worth a second look. For everyone else, Donate it to that annoyingly smart family you got stuck in awkward conversation with at that cocktail party last month. Oh, and one more thing: ease my guilt and check out Otoshi's website. If you see something you like, maybe you buy it. Ahhhhh, I feel better already :)

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Dora's Opposites

2012-01-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

Let's explora this book from Dora.

THREE PROS

*You'd be hard pressed to come up with a substitute pair of opposites more worthy of being included in a basic bilingual primer

*Six word sets seems like the perfect amount of material to dedicate to this topic
*Having that mouse/rat/beaver thing shout out pronunciations in the corner is an added bonus

THREE CONS

*I have to believe there was a way to weave some semblance of a story out of these words rather than slapping together a series of occurrences
*Yes, it's easier to demonstrate closing something that was previously opened, but for purposes of flow I thought it was weird to have Dora close the treehouse door (from inside) immediately before taking off on her journey

*Since we have to assume that the stoplight is real (because the fox stops directly at it), then, technically, the fox has the green when we are viewing the red at a 90 degree angle (unless it's a four way blinker positioned in a location with no intersection)

ONE DAD'S OPINION
Let me start by pointing out that I have maybe seen five minutes worth of Dora in my life. So, I might be coming at this differently than someone who lives and breathes the character. All I know is that my son is enough of a fan of the cartoon (he watches it with his best friend) that I had to give this book a peek. Anyway, when you think about it, my ignorance actually yields a more objective view of its value to your family. Survey says: it's perfectly serviceable though unspectacular. Grab it when you need it and give it back when you are done. Borrow.

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy

Snow Sounds

2012-01-09T16:10:00.001-05:00

Since flurries are currently falling outside my window, it only seems fitting to review this particular story.

THREE PROS

*Makes you feel like you're all warm and cozy in your bed on a bitterly cold night (more than most winter-oriented attempts)

*The graininess of the illustrations really adds to the whole concept of it being super snowy (although I might have toned it down a tad for the indoor shots)
*Shows child and parent each having to contribute, even on the most miserable of days

THREE CONS

*I keep wondering why I don't like it given that I really don't have any major complaints with either the noises or the images -- but it's just missing something
*I'm trying to visualize (audiblize?) a school bus making sounds in the "jingle clink" family and it's not ringing a bell, so to speak

*Why does this boy have school on December 23rd -- he should have started his holiday vacation a week earlier

ONE DAD'S OPINION
After hearing people's disagreements with me on Goodnight Moon, I have tried to be mindful of the fact that many moms place extra weight on having peaceful books for sleeptime. [I'd argue that this David A. Johnson work belongs in said category.] Yet, even when I overweight this factor, I can't seem to rate the story above Donate. Unfortunately, Snow Sounds is one of those rare occasions where there's no compelling reason to have it lying around, even though there's nothing truly objectionable about the effort. It's like any of these snowflakes falling outside right now (on what is a 41-degree day): nice to look at, but doesn't stand out from its peers AND won't last in our world for more than a few fleeting seconds.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Animal Baths

2012-01-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

This bath is about as refreshing as a dip in the Susquehanna.

THREE PROS

*Kids will get a kick out of mimicking the grooming habits of different animals after reading this

*Bob Barner's illustrations are pretty good, especially when compared to the text
*Manatees, my friend, manatees

THREE CONS

*Outside of a couple of cute pages (with the bears being the obvious standout), I actively disliked most of the rhymes in here
*It's been a while since I've encountered an ending as abrupt and unsatisfying as this one

*What does it mean when it says that "sharks line up ... for a gentle check"

ONE DAD'S OPINION
I'm not sure how a story that can so easily be summed up in a sentence (see pro #1) can end up feeling so unfocused. If Barner was going for the whole talking underwater effect, then he nailed it. But I don't think that was the goal. In the sink or swim world of children's books, this one just barely floats above the sea floor. Donate it after the first read, so you get the benefit of the idea without enduring the prolonged water torture.

Buy / Borrow / DONATE / Destroy

Shark Vs. Train

2012-01-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

I've heard a lot of good things about this one, so I figured it was time to check it out.

THREE PROS

*The book's creators get perfect scores for their approach to designing the flow and humor, all the way down to the tiniest details (like the Fonzarelli leather reference on an otherwise inconsequential truck)

*Love, love, love the lemonade page
*Having it wind up and down out of the boys' toy box gives the whole thing a logical reason for being

THREE CONS

*Let's face it: the shark wouldn't survive on land, so making the train struggle underwater is a little one-sided
*Totally not necessary, but I would have enjoyed having a little referee on each page

*I believe a train is equally capable of winning at bowling

ONE DAD'S OPINION
It's been months since a book of this caliber has crossed my path. Shark vs. Train is a surefire Best of the Best selection. Chris Barton and Tom Lichtenheld might just have come up with the template for the perfect 21st Century children's story. Great characters, amazing pictures, and funny on every single page -- what more could you ask for? Please add this to your collection today!

BUY / Borrow / Donate / Destroy

How Do Dinosaurs Play With Their Friends?

2012-01-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

Very carefully?

THREE PROS

*Author Jane Yolen should be commended for tackling under-the-radar issues that are important to raising superstar children (in the sense that most books avoid the topics they cover)

*Mark Teague somehow conveys the proper expressions in every dinosaur's face, despite being hamstrung by their naturally tiny eyes
*Nice touch adding the species in tiny letters below each beast

THREE CONS

*While the message is super important, the re-readability is equivalent to taking multiple trips to a second-rate natural history museum
*There's a whole lot of orange and green going on in here -- perhaps some other colors would have spruced it up a bit

*Doesn't show all of the common ways a child could misbehave around his or her peers

ONE DAD'S OPINION
No matter how amazing your son or daughter is, there will be times where you are horrified by their behavior around other kids. Face it, the scary dinosaur inside of a little tyke can't remain dormant forever. It might arise in the form of a temper tantrum, or unbridled selfishness, or even unprovoked violence, but whatever the case may be, there is a primacy instinct pre-programmed into each and every toddler that will never go extinct. Still, there are ways to limit the playground carnage. And I think this book might be one of them. Consider it your very own Darwinian experiment. HDDPWTF? is by no means a keeper, but could be a very useful Borrow whenever those fangs and claws start to come out...

Buy / BORROW / Donate / Destroy