Humpty Dumpty

The yolk was splattered on the floor well before I got there, I swear.                     

*If you're looking to save your voice for next season's big X Factor audition, just hand this book to your kid and let her or him learn the famous four-line rhyme alone 
*Goes slightly outside the lines by skipping the castle theme in favor of a child's bedroom setting
*The spine construction is sturdy enough to withstand a big fall -- this is important to note since you will likely want to slam it down after finishing it     

*Because there is no story to review, 100% of the rating must be focused on the art and trust me, no king in the world has enough men to put this back together again (I'm so over looking at toddlers portrayed as circle-faced pube-heads with dots for eyes)  
*Why the hell does one of the characters have to sport a blue-green Zubaz eyepatch
*Maybe my mind is scrambled from the pictures being more Dumpty than Humpty, but I swear that the egg shown is a toy that the boys and girls, in fact, COULD HAVE put back together again (much like a Mr. Potato Head)

What's the return policy on rotten books about eggs?  I don't care if it was free; I want to be compensated for my time and effort.  Hey Child's Play Limited: if you're going to capitalize on an old nursery rhyme without bringing something new to the breakfast table, then the least you can do is mix in some eggsellent drawings.  Who knows...perhaps Annie Kubler felt rushed during the dozen or so minutes it took you to whisk everything together.  I sincerely hope so.  Otherwise, this is just an obvious recipe for making some quick cash.  Judgment = sunny side down.                    

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

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