All Of Me!

Every part of me hated this experience.                     

*After the hell of reading it is over, there is a nice section at the end that teaches kids how to make their own storybooks 
*While it's slightly troubling to see the word "hug" written in cat fur (almost looks like he's coughing up a hairball), it's kind of cool at the same time
*The proximity of the feet and cheese on the smell page might be coincidental, but I'm guessing it's not     

*If someone you met on the street told you this story, I have no doubt you would smack in the mouth and tell them to shut the hell up  
*I can't get over how ugly the kid and dad are -- I feel terrible saying that in a book that presents diversity, but it's a fact
*Oh great, Molly Bang totally endorses pulling cats' tails

My son is in a sidewalk chalk phase and asks me to scribble airplanes and helicopters all the time.  While it makes me happy to see him get a kick from my street creations, I can't help but think that the adults on the block think I have some major developmental issues.  [This is doubly disappointing since my dad was an art major.]  Why am I telling you this?  Because it gives you some insight into the primary reason I will never be a successful children's author.  I cannot draw.  Why hasn't anyone informed Ms. Bang that she suffers from a similar affliction?  From her website, I can see she has churned out at least a dozen books that all appear to have been illustrated by a koala that found a box of crayons.  Just awful stuff.  When you add some "kill me now" writing and a $17 price tag to the equation, the result is one of the worst products of 2009.                    

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY

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