Bedtime Rhymes

I imagine these are the stories someone like Cruella De Vil would read to children in a particularly rough orphanage.                     

THREE PROS

*At least Clare Beaton didn't come up with them on her own, or else we'd have a top-three-worst book ever on my site 
*Beaton was able to unearth rhymes I had never seen before, although there's an obvious reason why none of them have hit the big time
*The illustrations are okay, I guess     

THREE CONS 

*I read one of these and was like "WTF", I read a second and was like "uh oh, they can't all be this bad" -- I read all seven of them and realized how wrong I was  

*You know you're in trouble when the best of the bedtime rhymes stars someone named Wee Willie Winkie

*Is there any reason to bother getting up in the morning to see little Nanny Button-Cap -- if there is, please leave a comment below

ONE DAD'S OPINION

You would think a book with this title would be a no-brainer.  I mean, how could someone mess it up?  Clare Beaton found a way, folks.  She found a way.  If you were to believe the text on the back cover, Bedtime Rhymes is somehow going to help your son or daughter "develop language and learning skills" and provide a "peaceful and relaxing" pre-sleep routine.  Just because something has words and is intended for nighttime use does not make this true.  See exhibit A.  If you really want to do right by your child, Destroy this book by the pale moonlight and then come up with a few words about what just happened. They'll be better off for it...                    

Buy / Borrow / Donate / DESTROY